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Confession: I Traded Doug Martin Two Weeks Ago

Someone kill me. Seriously, put me out of my misery.

I thought it was a good move. Doug Martin, Tampa Bay’s rookie running back, packaged with hobbled Saints tight end Jimmy Graham and Stephen Jackson’s animated corpse. In return, I’d be getting LeSean McCoy, a bona fide #1 running back, Vernon Davis, a tight end threat who wasn’t hobbled, and Titus Young, who’s… whatever, I’d be getting LeSean McCoy.

Lo and behold, in the two weeks since my masterfully crafted maneuver, Doug Martin has decided to become Barry Sanders (and Vernon Davis apparently decided to sleep with Greg Roman’s wife).

Here are Martin’s stat lines from weeks 8 and 9, when he was no longer a member of The Van Buren Boys.

Week 8 vs. the Vikings: 135 yards rushing, 4.7 yards per carry, 79 yards receiving, 2 touchdowns.

Week 9 vs the Raiders: 251 yards rushing, 10.0 yards per carry (!), 21 yards receiving, 4 touchdowns.

Seriously, Doug Martin? Seriously? That’s 32 fantasy points in Week 8, 51 in Week 9. I’m assuming that next weekend, against San Diego, you’re going to score 73 fantasy points and deliver a baby.

Hate you, Doug Martin.

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