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It’s Getting Harder To Believe That Tim Tebow Is A Virgin

Note: This article is about Tim Tebow. If you don’t want to read about Tim Tebow, do not read it. Or better yet, turn off your computer, chuck it out the window, and go live in the forest.

Tim Tebow is famous. He’s an athlete. He went to the University of Florida. He won a lot of awards and championships there. He played professional football. He’s been photographed running through the rain shirtless. He is, by most accounts, a really nice guy. Currently, he’s unemployed. So he hangs out on the USC campus, works out there, and takes photographs like this with the USC lacrosse team:

And we’re supposed to believe this guy doesn’t get laid?

Everyone knows Tebow is religious and wants to wait until marriage to get it on. But nowadays 80 percent of unmarried evangelical young adults 18 to 29 have had sex (only 8 percent less than their non-religious peers), and most of those people don’t have the kind of biography as listed above. Just one of those elements (Athlete? Florida? USC lacrosse team? Nothing else to do?) would be enough to leave any other person drowning in opportunities — or, as Tebow might call them, temptations.

And to top it all off, he’s 26. He’s only a couple years away from the average American male marriage age at his point. If you’re between the ages of 14-26, you likely jerked off before finishing this sentence. Is Tim Tebow some kind of magical being who doesn’t get horny despite being around hot athletic co-eds on a daily basis? Doubtful.

Tim Tebow is the entire package — if you disregard stuff like winning, which is why Tom Brady is actually the entire package. But he’s enough of a package to have gotten roughly 10,000 offers of sex since he was in high school. At this point, with nothing to do but break a sweat in the southern California sun and put his arms around college-aged strangers, it won’t be long now until he accepts one, if he hasn’t already.

**End transmission of wondering about Tim Tebow’s sex life**

  • Anonymous

    Comment deleted for lack of content

  • Joe

    This article is full of faulty premises. Of course he gets tons of offers. And I’m sure he gets stimulated. But discipline can conquer all. He made a vow to God and he’s sticking by it. You may find it hard to believe that he’s still a virgin, but I don’t because if someone is principled, he/she can accomplish just about anything irrespective of the types of temptations that they come across. it’s like saying a really good looking celebrity must have had one affair because well…how could he not have? Really a juvenile article.

  • Joe

    Meant to say “a really good looking, married celebrity must have had at least one affair…”

  • Sally

    Just listen to him talk. He is gay, hiding behind the bible and the “virgin” claim.

  • Anonymous

    Perhaps Tim Tebow has better things to do….as opposed to someone who sits around all day pointing fingers at others…in early 2014 Tebow’s Foundation will open it’s new Children’s Hospital. This one is in Davao City in the Philippines…..yeah, Eric….he’s no winner. Nope.

  • Me Wise Magic

    Hello Jacksonville Jaguars Team,

    I’d like to suggest to the Jaguars organization that you go out and acquire quarterback Tim Tebow to be your starting quarterback. Why? Tim Tebow was arguably the greatest college football player of all-time. He won two national championships, The Davey O’Brien award 2007, Heisman 2007 (plus nominated twice), Maxwell Award in 2007 & 2008, Campbell Trophy 2009, and the Disney Spirit Award in 2008. When they say that “all he does is win”, they are 100% accurate. He has never had a losing record in either high school, college, or the NFL. In his first chance at full time starter in the NFL he led the Denver Broncos to their first playoff win in years. Not only does he win but he draws some of the highest television ratings, sells the most jerseys, and is one of the most loved NFL players in the past 25 years. Sign him to a long-term contract and the Jags can have one of the most electrifying hard working dedicated QB’s in football history for the next 10+ years. Some other things to consider:

    * He’s our hometown hero! Possibly the most legendary Floridian college athlete of all-time. We love Tebow and Tebow loves Florida!

    * The Colts and Titans are rebuilding and one of Tebow’s best games was against the Houston Texans. This is the moment Jacksonville can once again regain the top spot in the division. You WILL NOT do it with your current quarterbacks and Tim Tebow is a guaranteed winner. If you draft someone from the 2014 class and take three years to develop them then Indy, Houston, and Tennessee will have rebuilt themselves and it will be too late. Also, Maurice Jones-Drew may not be around in four years. NOW IS THE TIME!

    * The Jaguars dominated many seasons in the late 1990′s. I loved watching Brunell, Jimmy Smith, Taylor, Keenan and others; that was a special group. Since they retired Jacksonville has been unable to repeat the same buzz. Well, you have that opportunity right now with Tim Tebow times ten!

    * Get Tebow and DON’T DRAFT A QB! You have M.D.J, Blackmon, Shorts and others right now and they are fantastic. They just need a leader at quarterback. Henne seems like a nice guy but Tebow is a proven winner at all levels where as Chad and Blaine are good backup candidates. But think about this, you won’t have to draft a backup for Tebow either because you have those guys! Once again, saved draft picks.

    * By not having to draft a quarterback you can beef up the line and defense. Remember the 1990′s defense you had? Rebuild it.

    * Tim Tebow has faced and outperformed many of the teams you will face in 2013. He’s beaten the Bills, Chief, Raiders and Chargers. He’s played brilliantly against the Texans and has inside information on the Broncos. That’s almost half the schedule!

    * (NFL – College) He has outperformed and/or is better than the following current starting NFL quarterbacks: E.J.Manuel (Bills), Ryan Tannehill (Dolphins), Mark Sanchez (Jets), Ryan Tannehill (Dolphins), Brandon Weeden (Browns), Blaine Gabbert (Jags), Jake Locker (Titans), Terrell Pryor (Raiders), Christian Ponder (Vikings), Josh Freeman (Tampa), & Sam Bradford (Rams).

    * What do the following NFL quarterbacks have in common? Ed Morrall, Joe Kapp, Bill Kilmer, Craig Morton, David Woodley, Tony Eason, Brad Johnson, Doug Williams, Jeff Hostetler, Mark Rypien, Stan Humphries, Neil O’Donnell, Chris Chandler, Trent Dilfer, Kerry Collins, Rex Grossman. Any guesses? All of them either won a Superbowl or went to a Superbowl. Tim Tebow has the potential to have a better career than all of them.

    * In 2011 Tebow’s Broncos set a team rushing record, Tebow had the highest QBR in the league in the final five minutes, and he took a 5-17 team to the second round of the playoffs.

    * In 2010 the Broncos set a new franchise record for losses in a single season, with a 4–12 record. They began 2011 on the same exact track with a 1-4 record before Tebow was given the start. They ended up winning the division with Tebow and making it to the second round of the playoffs only to lose to the NFC champion Patriots (the best team of the past ten years). Had Tebow started the 2011 season they could very well have ended up 11-5 with a first round bye. They had almost the exact same defense in 2010 as they did in 2011 and had a total record of 5-17 prior to Tebow. Even after replacing Tebow with Manning they didn’t get any further in 2012. Tim Tebow gave the spark to a dying team that inspired them to give everything they had to win because he did the same.

    * Tim Tebow is in the Guinness book of world records for the highest Google search in world history. The search was right before the national championship game and centered around the Bible verse: John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, and who so ever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”

    Some Jaguars Historical Performances

    2000: 7-9
    2001: 6-10
    2002: 6-10
    2003: 5-11
    2008: 5-11
    2009: 7-9
    2010: 8-8
    2011: 5-11
    2012: 2-14
    2013: 0-1

    * Jaguars all-time record: 140-149

    * Playoff Wins since 2000: one

    * Teams never to have played in a Superbowl: Browns, Lions, Jaguars, Texans

    * What does these men have in common: Butch Davis, Chris Palmer, Terry Robiskie, Romeo Crennel, Eric Mangini, Pat Shurmur, Rob Chudinski? All were Browns head coaches since 1999. All said “they had the answer”,”ignored the fans”, were not open minded, and lost year after year after year. Nowadays nobody even remembers who they were. Don’t let this be the fate of the Jacksonville Jaguars.

    Look, bottom line is the Jacksonville Jaguars are not generating any buzz or excitement. In the 2013 opener against the Chiefs the stands were literally empty before the fourth quarter began. Don’t let this opportunity pass. You have a chance to land one of the greatest college football players of all-time for the cheapest price you’ll ever see and he’ll give every ounce of sweat and blood he has for your organization (you know that). Your ticket sales will jump & you’ll be on the front page of papers nationwide. I invite you to do five things:

    1) Read Tim Tebow’s book ” Through My Eyes” and watch “Everything In Between.”
    2) Go back and watch highlight film of him at Florida and review his college all-time records he smashed.
    3) Watch film of his three late season starts in 2010 in Denver when he ran a conventional offense and aired it out vs San Diego, Oakland, and Houston. Proof he can run any offense
    4) Bring him in, sign him to a five year deal, and hand him the keys. Give him certainty and he’ll give you championships.
    5) Rent and watch the movie “Rudy” because the sequel is happening as we speak.

  • joedubster

    Tebow is obviously gay.
    Listen to how he talks.

  • Kenny ‘scooby’ Gulley

    this is pathetic

  • Jarod

    Joseph maintained his integrity when tempted with Potiphar’s wife while he was in Egypt. Read the story below. He kept himself from temptation. And he was also blessed with success.

    Why is it hard to believe that men can keep moral standards when they have an effective belief system, even in an immoral society?

    Tim Tebow happens to be one of these men. I am sure he must be overwhelmed with tempations from lovely women. I would believe he has to pray for extreme GRACE from GOD to run the RACE in his life and to withstand the beauties who throw themselves at him. God help you maintain Tim. IT is only by HIS GRACE that you can and will.

    Genesis 39

    New International Version (NIV)

    Joseph and Potiphar’s Wife

    39 Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt. Potiphar, an Egyptian who was one of Pharaoh’s officials, the captain of the guard, bought him from the Ishmaelites who had taken him there.

    2 The Lord was with Joseph so that he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master. 3 When his master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord gave him success in everything he did, 4 Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned. 5 From the time he put him in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the Lord blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph. The blessing of the Lord was on everything Potiphar had, both in the house and in the field. 6 So Potiphar left everything he had in Joseph’s care; with Joseph in charge, he did not concern himself with anything except the food he ate.

    Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, 7 and after a while his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said, “Come to bed with me!”

    8 But he refused.
    “With me in charge,” he told her, “my master does not concern himself
    with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my
    care. 9 No one is greater in this house than I am.
    My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his
    wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” 10 And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her.

    11 One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. 12 She caught him by his cloak and said, “Come to bed with me!” But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house.

    13 When she saw that he had left his cloak in her hand and had run out of the house, 14 she called her household servants. “Look,” she said to them, “this Hebrew has been brought to us to make sport of us! He came in here to sleep with me, but I screamed. 15 When he heard me scream for help, he left his cloak beside me and ran out of the house.”

    16 She kept his cloak beside her until his master came home. 17 Then she told him this story: “That Hebrew slave you brought us came to me to make sport of me. 18 But as soon as I screamed for help, he left his cloak beside me and ran out of the house.”

    19 When his master heard the story his wife told him, saying, “This is how your slave treated me,” he burned with anger. 20 Joseph’s master took him and put him in prison, the place where the king’s prisoners were confined.But while Joseph was there in the prison, 21 the Lord was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden. 22 So the warden put Joseph in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there. 23 The warden paid no attention to anything under Joseph’s care, because the Lord was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did.

  • Jarod

    Stupidity does not even need to be replied too. Don’t even know why you are here. Sounds like you are not going to hold your legs together before your wedding day if you are not already married or a lesbian.

  • Jarod

    Listen to how you write. You stereotype people. The way people talk means nothing in regards to sexual preferences. However the way you write shows exactly where your mind and thought process is and it is like duh!

  • Melissa

    Why would she had to “held her legs together before her wedding day”? There’s nothing wrong with consesual sex, you know, in fact quite the oppositie!

  • Donovan kessler

    LOL It’s good that he is, Its not bad but it is hard to believe he is. It’s all good, It’s a person’s choice, Much Respect.


    He opens up children’s hospitals in third world countries because he likes young boys, not girls his own age.

  • DUDE

    Nope, he is gay.

  • DUDE

    HIS GRACE made Timothy gay.

  • Anonymous

    How do you know Tebow isn’t gay? You don’t know. And trying to insult someone by calling them a slut or lesbian is so unoriginal. At least use proper grammar. It’s “to”, not “too”.

  • Alicia

    I’m not gonna say he IS gay. I only see him from a far. However, I do see that he has money, health, youth, success, virility. Much more than the avg. American guy his age. He is a good catch! Maybe somehing traumatizing happened to him as a youngster? Anywhoo keep the faith Timmy. U effin stud(lol). Find a nice humble cutie and add some good kiddies to this planet. I am sure Mrs. Right is out there waiting for you. Everything happens when it is supposed to happen. And I am sure your parents would like to become grandparents.

  • mariah

    People dont know right from wrong anymore…as is it clearly written in the bible to wait until marriage to have sex.. thats doeant mean the guy is gay…hes pleasing god and not the flesh and that all that matters..,

  • Colton

    Oh, he’s definitely gay as shit.

  • mikey

    how can you listen to how someone writes? you are clearly an idiot and it is like duh!

  • Guest

    Because he is a Christian. It is not glorifying to God (the ONLY God) to be gay or to lose your virginity before marriage. Im not saying gays are bad… Christians love all people, although some are very arrogant.

  • Guest

    Exactly! He is so generous and kind. He is not just “sitting at home” like most of you say. He is such an inspiration to Christians and all people… to stay strong and to not give in to any temptations. But we have to remember not even Christians are perfect. But God still loves us no matter what.

  • Guest

    It is not glorifying to God to be gay. But that doesn’t mean we don’t make mistakes…

  • Guest

    Exactly!!! THANK YOU!

  • Guest

    How on earth do you know Colton? Give me one good reason? Not just what YOU think… But a valid reason? Not just you’re personal opinion.

  • kiki

    That is freakingly funny. Can you hear my writing? He is on the dl and waiting for his charming husband to come along. Amen.

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