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Jerry Jones Said “I Want Me Some Glory Hole,” And He Meant It


Sometimes you just have to sit there for a minute (or several), contemplating exactly how you want to go about writing something. Reading that not only did Jerry Jones use the phrase “glory hole” when talking to reporters about the coming season (emphasis on “coming” hehehe nailed it), not only did he then use it again (saying, incredibly, “I want me some glory hole”), proving he meant to use it the first time and generally putting his media session in danger of turning into something like this old Batman comic, but he’s apparently done this a lot? That was one of those times.

One thing to do: see Jones actually saying this stuff for myself, to prove it wasn’t all too good to be true:

Check. Glorious, glorious check. Now what? Well, Cowboys PR man Rich Dalrymple earned his money and reminded the gathered (and understandably snickering) media members that “glory hole” is actually a commonly-used phrase in the oil industry that made Jones rich. And apparently it is. The more you know.

And with that done? Well… I’m stumped. All I can bring myself to do is keep marveling at Jones’ casual use of “glory hole.” I wish I had more jokes for you, but does this even need a joke? It’s Jerry Jones repeatedly saying “glory hole.” There’s nothing I can add to that. Well, except to posit that in the glory hole days Jones references, “I want me some glory hole!” might have been a pretty common exclamation among many members of the Cowboys. And that we hope this all ends with Rob Ryan yelling “I want me some glory hole!” during defensive meetings to fire up his troops.

[SB Nation]


  • Anonymous

    You wrote an entire post on this topic? We have the Olympics going on but you choose to act like a 13 year old and write about this?

    Will you ever grow up? Is Dan Abrams proud that his name is attached to this juvenile website?

    This is ridiculous. You’re really embarassing yourself and you don’t even know it.

  • Anonymous

    Well now I know it! Color me embarrassed!

  • Anonymous

    As I said – and it warrant repeating – Dan Abrams has got to be embarrassed that his name is connected to this juvenilia.

  • Anonymous

    If he was okay with this: 

    http://www.sportsgrid.com/nfl/trent-dilfer-stroke-principles/ 

    …then I doubt this post is going to be what sends him over the edge.

  • Anonymous

    Try to catch a deluge in a paper cup.  I appreciate your efforts.  But this is a much larger problem with the debasement of our language to describe the debasement of our culture.

  • Anonymous

    That doesn’t mean he’s not embarassed by what his name is attached to. I’m sure he can’t monitor every story on all of his sites as well as do his other jobs.

    Why not show him these two stories and have him give his view? I’d be especially interested in what he think about this story.

    There’s a thousand stories out there – as I wrote the Olympics is on – but you choose to write about this?

    As for me, I’ve made my point. Either you get it or you don’t.

  • Anonymous

    Well, I don’t “mind” stories like this in the “right website” or venue. “Mind” in the sense of, well, if that’s your taste.

    If it’s a sexually 0riented type website or one that’s created for this type of material (e.g., Deadspin), fine, go with it. I’m not interested in it but if someone else is, that’s for them to visit. Go for it.

    I just don’t think this type of stuff – and it’s more than an occasional one posted here - is appropriate for this website. It’s really childish as much as it is debasing. Perhaps both.

    I don’t think Dan Abrams would care for it either.

  • Moral Fiber Police

    really Steve?  Really?  A comedic event is not note worthy?  How drab your life must be.  It was funny.  And in a world of horrible tragedy being reported on every day, a light article in response to a misunderstanding is worth writing about.   On a side note, this has absolutely nothing to do with the moral fabric of our time, or juvenile delinquents snickering in the back of the class.  I bet Dan Abrams is ecstatic that he has the humor police looking out for him.

  • Anonymous

    It’s a juvenile story and not worthy of posting.

    I’ll note that it’s run right above a story about a player who committed suicide. Classy, very classy.

    And I’m not the “moral police” (whatever that is). Just a commentator/reader. No one is saying this website can’t run childish posts or stories. Only that they’ll be called out for it.

  • Coy

    Err! Ugh! (slaming fist on desk). Dan Abrams is being a child! Ugh! He wrote a story that makes other people in a male dominated sports news industry chuckle! Why can’t he just ignore the glory hole comments! Why does he post a video about glory holes from
    Jerra! Ugh! That Dan Abrams is a boner!

  • Anonymous

    Dan Abrams didn’t write this story. Mr. Abrams is the owner of this website.

    Second, I didn’t slam any doors or have a tantrum.

    Third, the story was posted right above one about a football player killed himself. I think that was inappropriate.

    Fourth, the story is juvenile and childish and the author has a long record of conducting himself in such a way.

  • MittROnmeyfan2012

    THANK YOU STEVEMG!!!! Quite frankly we’re all sick of Glenn’s long record of childish behviour. He is a “menace” and the sooner the public knows the sooner we can get him off the internet where GROWN UPS can speak in an adult mannar.

  • Anonymous

    No, once again as I stated above: Glenn can write about anything he wants. It’s up to Dan Abrams or the editor to decide what’s allowed or not.

    The question is whether (1) this juvenile post by him is worthy of this website and (2) whether it’s appropriate to run this story right above one about a person who committed suicide.

    If you think that’s okay – both (1) and (2) – fine. Praise him.

    I think it’s not okay and I’ve expressed my view.

  • atlanticxing35k

    Get a grip SteveMG. 

    The funniest part is that Jerry has absolutely has no idea what he said.

    Like when the “Tea Party” found out what teabagging is.

    Jerry is an idiot.  Reminders like this are always welcome.

  • Mike0990

     Dear Mr. I Can’t Take a Joke,

    RELAX.

    Sincerely,
    SERIOUSLY RELAX

  • VaporLokt

    The writers don’t do layout, even on the ‘net so the positioning of the story on the webpage is someone else’s responsibility. Secondly, considering the obvious amount of time that you have devoted to berating a light – and not irrelevant – story demonstrates either an inflated sense of your own tastes or your residence, temporary or more permanent, in Jerry’s colon.

  • Co-sell

    Jerry’s apparently old enough to know that a ‘glory hole’ is a productive gold mine.

  • Alafay4953

    Lighten up stevemg. This is not something that should create symptoms of psychosis, anger or send one fleeing to the nearest therapist. Many terms have changed throughout the years and in regions. Jerry just wants “Some Glory Hole” which ever one he’s referring to. Sometimes it’s just fun to abandon todays politically correct world and laugh. Not belittling you but you are almost scary. You sound like someone who would is disgrunted with life, hope this article doesn’t push you over the edge.

  • Alafay4953

    would over react to an article and one who is totally disgrunted.

  • http://twitter.com/eseamhead Earnest Seamhead

    Somebody got himself a little too much of Stuart Smalley’s Daily Affirmations.


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