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Goodbye, Tim Tebow. You Are No Longer A Jet, And Our Resident Jets Fan Hates You. But It’s Not Your Fault.
Goodbye, Tim Tebow, the New York Jets have released you. As a Jets fan, I will not mince words. I am thrilled. That’s because I hate you, Tim Tebow. But it’s not your fault. You seem like a great, kind person. I don’t hate you for your charity work or your faith, or even the fact that you couldn’t execute a simple block while playing your natural position, punt protector. I don’t hate you because you repeatedly couldn’t get a snap off within a generous 35 second play clock. Tom Brady can write three books and win two Super Bowls in that time. That stuff certainly doesn’t make me like you, but it doesn’t make me hate you. I don’t hate you because of you, and I don’t hate you as a person. In fact, I respect you. But I do hate you, and that’s because of Mike Tannenbaum. That’s because of Woody Johnson. That’s because of ESPN (I’m a Rex Ryan apologist, and I will leave him out of this, for now).
I’m not a racist. I’m not a football purist. I’m not an SEC-hater. I JUST LIKE MY QUARTERBACKS TO BE ABLE TO COMPLETE A JESUSFREAKING PASS (which is why I also hate Mark Sanchez).
You were legendary at Florida, and you deserved praise. But it was clear that you were an NFL project, at best. Then, Josh McDaniels, the inspiration for JoshMcDanielsSucks.com, decided to take a chance on you, in the first round. Nobody else appeared to desire such a strong investment in your questionable skills, yet this evil man did. The same, evil McDaniels that spawned from football’s beacon of evil, Bill Belichick. The same, evil McDaniels that ran Jay Cutler out of Denver and then drafted Knowshon Moreno with the No. 12 overall pick, despite everyone knowing you don’t pick a running back that high that isn’t Adrian Peterson, or even the homeless, paraplegic cousin of Adrian Peterson. The same, evil McDaniels that anointed Kyle Orton as starting quarterback, because he was a “winner,” ignoring his lack of talent. The same, evil McDaniels who replaced Orton with Tim Tebow, because he was a “winner,” ignoring his lack of talent. Tim Tebow would have been an overhyped media leviathan without Josh McDaniels, but with him, he became Tebow, the most annoying thing in every sports fan’s life, ever. Mainly because of Josh McDaniels, Tim Tebow was the most chafing figure in sports. He chafed you, and ESPN perpetuated the chafing, hoarding all of the Gold Bond.
Tim Tebow is the worst because of Josh McDaniels, and because people feel the need to call him “polarizing.” A unique, übertalented athlete that struggles to play quarterback is not “polarizing.” Denard Robinson is not “polarizing.” Brad Smith is not “polarizing.” Antwaan Randle El is not “polarizing.” Eric Crouch is not “polarizing.” I could go on for days, literally, because Tim Tebow’s situation is not unique. The only difference is his unabashed fans, that extend far beyond typical, rabid Gator fandom, to dumb, unconnected people, worldwide, that supported his abilities simply because of his faith or character. People liking Tim Tebow isn’t a problem, but people thinking he’s an NFL Hall-of-Famer just because they like him, and the sheer, inconceivable volume and fervor of these morons, is the problem. It’s not Tim Tebow’s fault, but, Tim Tebow the NFLer is such an awful thing. He inspires ridiculous claims of racism, anti-Christian sentiment, and even anti-bro sentiment. I know that many (hopefully most) of you reading are not Tebow buffs (pun intended). But, to the rest of you:
HEY, IDIOTS, TIM TEBOW WAS A GREAT COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYER. HE WAS AN NFL PROJECT WITH UPSIDE. SO FAR, HE HASN’T PROVEN HE CAN PLAY QUARTERBACK IN THE NFL. AND BECAUSE OF YOU, THIS MIGHT BE HIS LAST CHANCE. BECAUSE NOBODY WANTS TO DEAL WITH THIS HOOPLA.
Tim Tebow is Eric Crouch; he’s Pat White. He’s a strange talent that has not yet found his place in the NFL. That’s all.
Tim Tebow 25 years old. It’s conceivable that he could improve and find his niche, whether it’s as a third-string quarterback, a starting tight end, or even a Pro Bowl quarterback. But, if he doesn’t get another chance, it’s because of his fans. His plentiful, senseless fans.
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