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Shut Up, Jets Haters

  • Matt Rudnitsky

New York Jets Fans Haters

Welcome to SportsGrid’s Tuesday feature, “Shut Up,” (pronounced: “shut up… comma”) where we add a name after the comma, telling that person to stop saying words, because they’re being stupid. This week, this person is lots of people. In fact, it’s most of America. Shut up, Jets haters. You’ve been exposed as foolish and unfunny.

Hey, guys! Matt writing here from the Large Apple, where my New York Jets are 1-0, tied for first place in the NFL! They also covered the spread, as I predicted!

This is real life, people. I’m a Jets fan and eternal optimist, and the constant dismissal of the Jets has really pissed me off. I know we aren’t especially good. But the hate has gone way too far, and if you’re going to be a hater, at least be funny. Tweeting “Geno is gonna throw a pick-six here because Jets LOL” is not comedy.

The point isn’t that the Jets are good, or that the Jets dominated, or even that the Jets deserved to win. The point is that people act like they’re the worst team assembled in NFL history, and that’s beyond hyperbole. It’s fun to make fun of the Jets, but unless you’re being genuinely funny, you’re just lazy. The general public is like @TheFakeESPN when it comes to the Jets, stealing obvious jokes in search of retweets.

Just last week, this is how the Jets were discussed on the Internet:

- Localbozo: “Many have the Jets finishing with one of the three worst records in football and it’s hard to argue against that. If this team can finish 4-12, it should be deemed a successful season, as sad as that sounds.

- Bill Simmons ranked the Jets 31st in the NFL, making a joke about this season’s Jets-Raiders game being the Clowney Bowl.

- SB Nation: “The Buccaneers are no juggernaut, but experts are taking Josh Freeman and Co. to roll over the Jets, who will be starting Geno Smith on Sunday.”

- Daily News headline: “NFL Week 1 Bettor’s Guide: Tampa Bay Bucs and Dallas Cowboys should take care of NY Jets and NY Giants”

- Bleacher Report: “Despite a lackluster preseason that saw both the offense and defense struggle, the Bucs should fare just fine against what is likely to be one of the worst teams in the NFL in 2013. Between Freeman, Martin and Vincent Jackson on offense and Revis, Goldson, Gerald McCoy and Lavonte David on defense, the Bucs will win this game—it’s really just a question of by how much.”

How much did they win by? Negative one, man. Recency bias kills more Americans’ brains then alcohol.

Seriously, can we please stop calling football writers/reporters “experts?” It’s really hard to pick NFL games, and these “experts” are awful at it. Especially in situations like this, where they can’t think independently and act like the Jets are the Washington Generals.

CBSSports.com’s “experts:”


ESPN’s experts weren’t picking against the spread and thus deserve a bit less flack, but still. 14 “experts,” and none take the Jets?


What about Yahoo? O-for-4. USA Today? 0-for-7. Bleacher Report? 0-for-12 (but one person actually had them covering!!!! 1-for-12!!!!). Fox Sports? 0-for-5.

It actually appears that Bill Simmons picked the Jets against the spread (albeit at +4.5, which assuredly was not the correct number), despite his harsh criticism of them. I also haven’t seen him call himself an “expert.” This is a big deal, really. Kudos, Bill.

So, against the spread, we had: 2 people pick the Jets (Simmons with an exaggerated point spread, and some random dude from Bleacher Report ), and 23 pick the Bucs. Straight up: 40 people picked the Bucs, and zero picked the Jets.

40-to-0. 40 people wrong. Zero people right.

Realize that the Jets were 3.5-point underdogs. The line implied that they had about a 38% chance of winning the game, not to mention the significant chance they had of losing by three or fewer and covering the spread (a feat that seemed likely all game, even after they almost choked the outright victory away). One would assume that an NFL point spread would imply that 50% of the time the underdog covers, and 50% of the time the favorite covers. That’s not exactly accurate, but when you consider the extreme bias that everyone seems to have against the Jets, it’s fair to say the Jets had at least a 50% chance of covering, if not significantly more. And a ~40% chance of winning outright, if not significantly more.

Really? Nobody picked the Jets?

NFL picks are mostly a crapshoot. Grow some balls, and think for yourselves. Or at least stop calling yourself an expert. That’s the point here. I know I’m not an expert. The SportsGrid staff knows it consists of no experts besides our cat on a Roomba. There is no such thing as an “expert” who can consistently do well picking 256 NFL games each year. Respect your readers, and tell them that NFL picks columns are what they are: for fun.

Please do not appear on ESPN and say things like”the Jets are obviously gonna lose because Jets,” as “expert” flashes across the screen. Please shut up, and just have some fun without pretending to know what you’re talking about.

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