France Manages To Salvage World Cup Hopes In The Most Overly Dramatic, Obnoxiously French Fashion

  • Jake O'Donnell

[Deadspin] It feels strange to write that, inherently wrong. But after a 2-0 drubbing away to Ukraine in the first leg of the World Cup qualifying playoff, France need to beat Ukraine by the same score today to extend the tie to overtime. If the score remains the same, the two sides will essentially flip a coin from the penalty spot. If Ukraine score, though, the task becomes that much harder. An away goal from Ukraine would mean that France could only advance to next year’s tournament by absolutely trouncing their opponents by three goals or more. They’d have to win 4-1. Stranger things have happened, surely, but…

Guys, false alarm. France is coming to the World Cup. Put away the California Champagne…

Needing to beat Ukraine 3-0 to earn a berth in the 2014 Brazil World Cup — and having scored three goals in the entire 2012 Euro Cup — those snarky a-holes managed to do the impossible: Score on Ukraine. That’s right, not only is France offensively anemic against higher quality opponents (they didn’t score in the 2010 World Cup), Ukraine is stingy as hell, having shutout their last eight opponents.

[Deadspin] France most likely will not qualify for the 2014 Brazil World Cup.

Au contrare. Les Bleus had another idea, slotting three classically douchey rebound goals. Hey, at least they didn’t do this again…

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