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Your Girlfriend Can’t Stop Watching This Video Of How Cristiano Ronaldo’s Face Has Changed Over The Years

In one of the more unconventional and confusing advertisements for a bank, Portugal’s “Banco Espirito Santo” has morphed the face of Real Madrid’s self-acknowledged-handsome-winger Cristiano Ronaldo, in the interest of, um, handsomeness? More female customers? We’re assuming the time table you’re seeing here is between 2003 and now, which is exactly the duration of his tenure with the Portuguese National Team. Why not go all the way back to when he was a pimply faced kid?

Answer: Because the point of this ad is to make you guys feel ugly and old. (For the record, he’s 29-years-old as of February 5th.)

“Now give us your money you frumpy troll!”
– Banco Espirito Santo

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